January 20, 2015

Eating Crow

A few months ago I wrote a post about baby sleep and how we were well on our way to having it all figured out.  You know that old adage, “It’s not you, it’s me?”  That’s how I felt when it came to Jay’s sleep.  Maybe he wasn’t just an innately poor sleeper — maybe it was that we had taught him wrong.  We created some really bad sleep habits with him and paid for it for years.  Actually, we’re still paying for it as even now he frequently wakes up a few times a night.

But no.  With Elle, we were going to do things differently.  It would be neither “you norme because this time, we were going to do things right.    No shushing, bouncing, rocking, hopping on one foot with the water running circus performance.  Nope, no bad sleep habits for us.  We would put her down drowsy and awake so she could learn to fall asleep on her own.  We would have her sleep everywhere, so she could be a portable sleeper.  We would NOT lower our voices during nap time, so she could learn to be a sound sleeper.

Well dears, I hope you like crow, because that’s what’s for dinner.

Photo credit: monkeyc.net / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

I don’t really know where we went wrong. We really did try all of those things, yet here we are. She used to fall asleep on her own and sleep for hours, but that’s a thing of the past. Now? Call us the Ringling Brothers because we’re definitely in the circus business.

For some reason, this girl fights sleep like it’s her passion in life, but she’s not one of those happy awake babies. No, if she’s tired, we all know it…or rather hear it. Put her down, pick her up, hold her rock her bounce her…she cries. Finally eventually she’s exhausted enough to fall asleep, only to wake up 40 minutes later, at most.

And night time? Girlfriend still won’t go to bed before midnight…Elle, don’t you know we are not a party family in this household?

So where does this bring us? Tired, confused, trying to figure it out, but knowing we probably just need to wait it out (please please please let this just be a growth spurt thing). We’ve read all the books and tried all of the tricks. We did it right. I just have to go back to what Jay’s old pediatrician said: “You get the sleeper that you get”.

And I guess we’re living proof of that. First baby…we did it all wrong and had a horrible sleeper. Second baby, we did it all right and still have a bad sleeper. Maybe a just a little less horrible. Turns out, “It’s not me, it’s you, Ellie Belly.”

So mommies of bad sleepers, if you’re beating yourself up wondering where you went wrong, don’t worry, it’s probably not you, it’s your baby. At least they’re cute, right?

(Can I just say how crazy it was for me to take this picture? With a flash nonetheless. And yes she woke up from it.)

What’s your take on sleep? Is it “you” or “the baby”?



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Iulia is a former educator turned stay-at-home mama of a spunky toddler and a squishy infant. With a touch of sass and a good dose of self-deprecating humor, she has an ever-expanding repertoire of bloopers, insights, stories, and impassioned opinions to share. Iulia likes to think she has this parenting gig figured out, but her littles remind her daily just how far from the truth that is.

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  • noreply@blogger.com'
    Reply Gentel McKenney January 20, 2015 at 11:16 am

    oh man can I relate to this today — my new motto as a mom is “never say never” ha! I have a bad sleeper too and now at almost nine months we are doing babywise, and it is s-l-o-w-l-y improving. I guess we’ll survive somehow?! 🙂

  • noreply@blogger.com'
    Reply Amanda Costa January 20, 2015 at 9:58 pm

    I hear ya! Tate was (and still sometimes) isn’t the best sleeper. We did a whole dog and pony show just to get him to sleep. He still goes through good sleep cycles and I think “yay! we did it!!” then a bad one rolls back around again. Sweet little things though 🙂

  • noreply@blogger.com'
    Reply Ileana @ Illy Who January 21, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    Baby sleep is such a sensitive subject. My son had such a rough time sleeping, that was definitely our fault. It’s encouraging to know that even if you do it all right things can still go wrong. I have this huge plan for my second baby, praying we have an easier time.

  • noreply@blogger.com'
    Reply Becky Goerend January 21, 2015 at 10:52 pm

    Thanks for linking up with Tuesday Talk. We’d love it if you would link back!

    I think on this topic it can be a mix. Sometimes kids just don’t sleep no matter what you do…but there are things you can definitely do to help!


  • jxberny@gmail.com'
    Reply bernadette January 29, 2015 at 8:51 am

    Hi there! Thanks for sharing that thats great!

    i was looking at your diapers article and sadly i can seem to read the first part, there is an error…;( Thought you might want to know!
    All the best
    Bernadette, pre-born mom 🙂

  • rchreviewlh@yahoo.com'
    Reply Lynda Hardy January 29, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    *laugh* the problem is babies don’t read the user manual! Thanks for sharing this with Awesome Life Friday! Hope you all get some rest. 😉

    • Reply Bestofbaby January 29, 2015 at 3:56 pm

      Right!! Don’t they know life would be so much better if we were all well rested?!

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