February 19, 2015

My Dream…and why I can’t achieve it

Birth.  Few things in life are as impacting and life-altering as giving birth.  It changes you.  With Elle I had such a great birth that I felt like I was on a high for days on end (check out part 1 and part 2  of my birth stories if you want more details).  Every time I would think about giving birth to her (which was A LOT), my heart would swell with joy and gratitude.  In fact, I remember telling Allen several times that I never wanted to stop having babies!  That’s just how good I felt.

And wouldn’t it be great to help other women feel that wonderful too?  It’s my dream to help other women have good birth experiences…to look back and be able to say “Man, that was a wonderful birth.”

Photo credit: photosavvy / Foter / CC BY-ND

I briefly considered going back school to become a midwife…emphasis on briefly because that’s so not happening.

Let me explain.  I have a HUGE fear of bodily fluids.  I’ve always been a germaphobe, but in college, that germaphobia reached a whole new level.  My sophomore year, I was a resident advisor, which was awesome – except for when I had to clean up bodily fluids.  Generally, it was vomit, but sometimes it was urine, blood, and even poop (yes, really).  

One night, when I was on duty, a really drunk kid thought it was a wise idea to punch his arm through a mirror, pull it back out (*cringe*), and then parade all the way down to the lobby leaving a large trail of blood behind him.  Guess who had to clean it up?  This gal.  It was nothing short of traumatizing for a germaphobe like me, and since then I literally shudder at the thought of other people’s bodily fluids.  So midwifery?  Not so much.

But then I thought, how about being a doula?  All of the birth, none of the gore right?  At least that’s what I thought…until I actually gave birth with a doula (who was just amazing, by the way).  She was all up in my birthing yuckness.  Have you ever seen what the water looks like in a laboring women’s tub?  NOT PRETTY, yet she faithfully poured hot water over my back again and again.  And then after I gave birth, she even helped scrub all of that yuck off of me.  *shiver*

Photo credit: Fuschia Foot / IWoman / CC BY-NC-ND

Now, maybe my doula just went above and beyond her call of duty, but I’ve talked to other doulas and they said that they’ve come in contact with almost every bodily fluid possible.  Yea, nope.  Not happening.

Oh sure, you wear gloves and scrubs, but that won’t cut it for this girl.  I’d have to show up wearing something like this:

And what birthing mom wouldn’t want that by her side?

So there’s my dream…and why I can’t achieve it.  Unless there’s a market somewhere for doulas decked out in hazmat gear?  If you know of anyone, let me know and I’ll get on my DONA certification asap.  Until then, I’ll keep on dreaming about being a doula…at least from a distance.  And writing about how wonderful birth is.  Because good birth, whatever that means to you, really is wonderful.



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Iulia is a former educator turned stay-at-home mama of a spunky toddler and a squishy infant. With a touch of sass and a good dose of self-deprecating humor, she has an ever-expanding repertoire of bloopers, insights, stories, and impassioned opinions to share. Iulia likes to think she has this parenting gig figured out, but her littles remind her daily just how far from the truth that is.

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  • lbp@lifebreathpresent.com'
    Reply Life Breath Present February 19, 2015 at 7:13 pm

    I’ve toyed with the idea of becoming a soul a off and on. In fact, my soul a has graciously offered to help me train if ever I’m ready. I’m just not sure how well I’ll do it. (that’s almost always my fear)

    Anyway, speaking up and out about birth and the wonders of birth is such an important topic. And so, even if you can’t be a soul a because of your issue with bodily fluids, keep doing what you’re doing because it is just as important! 🙂
    Life Breath Present recently posted…Paper Hearts – Book ReviewMy Profile

    • Reply Bestofbaby February 20, 2015 at 10:49 pm

      Ahh, if only talking about birth actually brought in a paycheck the way being a doula does 😉 But thank you for the encouragement! I love talking about birth, even without a monetary return on investment 🙂

  • myminkbetty@yahoo.com'
    Reply Betty February 20, 2015 at 2:14 am

    Lol, I enjoyed your post very much. Maybe you could help with classes preparing for birth and avoid all the messy stuff. I’m visiting from Think Tank Thursday.

    • Reply Bestofbaby February 20, 2015 at 10:50 pm

      Betty thank you! Yes, I actually have thought about being a child-birth educator…

  • mommyzoid@gmail.com'
    Reply Stephanie McDougall @ Mommyzoid February 20, 2015 at 10:48 pm

    I feel ya, girly! So many of the things I thought I’d love to do involve bodily fluids that I, LIKE YOU, just can’t even fathom dealing with. This is so awesome! Thanks for sharing your dream!

    Stephanie @ Mommyzoid.ca

    • Reply Bestofbaby February 20, 2015 at 10:51 pm

      Oh my gosh, one of my midwives said that she was once squirted in the eye during birth. I was like NOPE. not happening.

  • crystal@sosomom.com'
    Reply Crystal February 23, 2015 at 11:25 am

    I think giving birth is amazing as well, but have NO desire to be involved with that in any way!

    • Reply Bestofbaby February 23, 2015 at 11:54 pm

      That’s the hard part for me…because I really do want to be involved in the actual births…just maybe from behind a plastic shield at all times 🙂

  • oneruudmom@gmail.com'
    Reply Jules Ruud February 23, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    Ha! Could you imagine someone in a hazmat suit while you gave birth?!? Talk about traumatizing! It’s honorable that you have a desire to encourage other moms and what better forum than a blog where there are no bodily fluids involved? I am also squeamish when it comes to other people’s fluids so a midwife/doula is on my career list filed under NEVER as well. Great post and thank you for joining #MommyMeetupMondays!
    Jules Ruud recently posted…Mommy Meetup Mondays Week TwelveMy Profile

    • Reply Bestofbaby February 23, 2015 at 11:53 pm

      Haha yea I couldn’t have imagined my doula walking in wearing a hazmat 🙂

  • eucalyptica@hotmail.com'
    Reply Jenny @ Unremarkable Files February 23, 2015 at 5:39 pm

    Stopping by from Mommy Monday, your post made me laugh out loud. I’m not a germophobe, but I just get grossed out thinking about blood and/or gore. Even just thinking about surgery makes me feel a little ill. When you’re giving birth it’s different than watching, so I think naturally squeamish husbands/support people at births deserve a big pat on the back (even if they do pass out for a little while in the middle.)
    Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…Just Call Me @thatevansladyMy Profile

    • Reply Bestofbaby February 23, 2015 at 11:51 pm

      I had to laugh at this because my husband passed out cutting the cord for our first child! This time around, he was already on the floor (because that’s where I was) so I wasn’t too concerned 🙂

  • bblaze87@gmail.com'
    Reply Brandyn February 23, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    What a great post! Being a midwife or doula may be out for you, but I think writing about birth is a great help to many women as well! Have you ever considered running some kind of support group for new and expectant mothers? Then you could give the information and support without having to deal with the yuck factor! Sounds like that would be a great fit for you!

    Thank you for linking up with us at #MommyMeetupMondays! Hope to see you again next week!
    Brandyn recently posted…Mommy Meetup Mondays Week #12My Profile

    • Reply Bestofbaby February 23, 2015 at 11:49 pm

      Brandyn – I’m actually collaborating with a friend of mine to start a support group type thing in our town! How encouraging of you to suggest that 🙂

  • jmolson53@gmail.com'
    Reply Jann Olson February 24, 2015 at 12:18 am

    Well just realizing that you have that phobia is a big step. Don’t let it get you down and find happiness in other ways! Thanks for sharing with SYC.

  • sarahfrazer920@aol.com'
    Reply Sarah February 24, 2015 at 8:53 pm

    Oh my – I can relate! Haha. Thanks for sharing!
    Sarah recently posted…The Fringe Hours Review and GiveawayMy Profile

  • scglinn@gmail.com'
    Reply Stephanie February 25, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    First of all, I worked in housing for so long at many schools and we always called in our custodial staff to clean up bodily fluids. I’m sorry that you had to do that! In a res hall there are so much fluids! Secondly, have you thought of becoming a lactation consultant for real? Then you could go in after the birth and help momma’s start that experience. I saw mine right before and after I gave birth, and I definitely consider them part of the experience.
    Stephanie recently posted…Fit for Me 8/52My Profile

    • Reply Bestofbaby February 25, 2015 at 10:09 pm

      Yea, I worked for private university housing so the typical rules didn’t apply to us. I loved most it, but hated the clean-up garbage! And yes I’ve totally considered becoming a lactation consultant! It’s definitely on my list of things to do once my kiddos are a bit older 🙂

  • 7ei4p93xpl@hotmail.com'
    Reply Rock April 30, 2017 at 5:54 am

    La volonté collective des hommes dit le GODF cette volonté ne s’est pas exprimé : les homosexuels ne sont pas en majorité et beaucoup ne souhaitent pas se marier; le gouvernement n’avait pas la majorité au 1er tour, il est élu par défaut, la majorité peut donc continuer de s&ersuo;exprimqr tant pis pour le GODF

  • yaq1s505l@mail.com'
    Reply Luella April 30, 2017 at 6:27 am

    Try one of the Brooks saddles. I got a lot of abuse for using an old-school saddle, but after a week on the bike I definitely had the least pain out of everyone. Takes a while to break in but worth it. One word of caution, they are wider than most, so even thought I’m not the smallest (230lbs) I found the standard too wide, I now have a B17 narrow, and at that if I was doing it again I’d go for a Swift for just normal road cycling.I know Alastair Humphries and a few others roerd-thu-wonld guys swear by them too.

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